Ants are communism.

A brand new Piece

2005-11-05T14:43:00.000-08:00

Ever notice how people refer to it as a "piece of music"?

As if it were a small piece of a great musical tapestry. It in one phrase discerns a scaling effect.

I wish I had some FTP storage again. Dang that was hot. If I did, I'd mirror a song every post.

Hell in a Handbasket.

2005-10-31T22:31:00.000-08:00

You know this country is going to hell. It's going to a conservative, rightwinger hell.

Why? THERE IS NO FUCKING HALLOWEEN PROGRAMMING ON TV ANYMORE. No old & classic zombie films, no ghosts or vampires or golems or Jackey-Os on television. Only are they used during advertisements.

No, none of the fundamentals can take Halloween anymore. Less and less people celebrate it, more people stay home as if it's another work day.

I remember this day used to be almost as special as christmas. It's not anymore. Fuck you, right wingers.

NASA

2005-08-27T22:25:00.000-07:00

I fucking hate how you see five or more lettered acronyms that spell actual english words.

I know for a fact that for them to have been that long, someone must've worked really hard to find the words that would spell that word.

It's like they work hard to get the acronym and pay no attention to how dorky the full name sounds.

Perdition

2005-08-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

I've come to know that it's relatively easy to make someone feel agonized.

Something as simple as a burned finger, cut gum, or toothache can make things, all things, certainly unbearable.

Hell is not a place of being burned for all eternity while being cut to pieces by high-strung barbed wire. No, it's a place of trying to live life normally with braces that are too tight or with a broken toe.

If Satan were the one to define the words "crafty" and "sadistic", he would certainly think of something better to do to his souls than to torture them with flames and razorblades.

Were I more lacking in what little morality I possess, I'd like to substitute for him one day. It might be an interesting job.

Astronauts

2005-08-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

I did not know that even before 9/11 the astronauts, when being transfered along the ground to the launch site, are protected by a Huey transport helicopter equipped with akimbo M60 sling-mounted machineguns.

That's quite impressive.

Edit: sorry for image split, but I don't care enough to fix it.

Gates

2005-08-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

I've come to realise that in many fantasy books and other such related fiction, a high level of importance is stressed upon gates and doorways.

However, the meaning behind having a collossal gate is lost when they don't have a Wall which is ten times as impermeable as the Gate.

Think about it, it makes sense. An Impermeable Gate needs a wall which is at least ten times more powerful than the gate that lets you past it.

The Chi Lines

2005-08-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

In a place as infamous as the internet, some things become popular very quickly, and others do not. Some things that are popular and well-remembered (read: memes) very sometimes do not have unique, enjoyable, entertaining, or appealing qualities, yet they for some reason stick with people.

I propose that the timing and chance determine something's success just as much as the content matter or the delivery does.

For instance, a while back on 4chan there was a seamless flash loop that I love very much posted, but no one paid it any mind. It had zero comments and sunk to the bottom of the heap and no one cared about it. When I uploaded it to show to someone else, however, it exploded with comments and feedback.

It's a poor example, but it is what got me thinking about this. Many things in the world require a certain special something to become famous or successful. The problem is, in the real world, the circumstances are too varied and erratic to be able to predict the success of a new product or movie.

There must be some force at work that of which we are not yet aware. What determined the success of those few random chains of acids that learned to replicate themselves and spawn life as it is known today?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't believe in there being just random occurence. I don't want to say God is responsible, because that's assigning things like morality and judgement and conciousness to a process which I think that doesn't have any of those things.

The concept of having Chi Lines, or rivers of energy that flow through everything and create as a by-product of their existence is very appealing to me. Not God, but a neutral force that neither wants nor cares.

What is the difference between a block of marble and a statue that could be made from it? Chemically, scientifically they are the same things, but the statue was shaped and created by a human. It holds the energy, of whatever type, that the human put into it.

In all honesty I could accept random occurence as an explination for everything, but I don't believe in this as being the driving force behind the cosmos. I think there's something there that is yet to be discovered.

Porc.

2005-08-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

I've visited a great number of houses, and due to the nature that most houses now a days usually have more than one bathroom, it is a safe bet to say I have seem more bathrooms than I have houses.

Now, something I've found that is consistently annoying about most bathrooms is the complete lack of regard for where the toilet paper dispenser should be placed. Sometimes it's just a screwed in hook that holds the roll against the wall, sometimes it's a spring-loaded contraption that looks as if it could injure a grizzly bear if used in the wrong manner.

Most of the time, though, it's in the wrong damn place. It's usually too high or too low, right in your face or it's placed behind you so that you have to enter into a gymnastic contortion in order to reach it.

I just believe that people just should put more thought into where the toilet paper holder should be, since it does tend to get used a lot.

Functionality is what bathrooms are for, pure and simple. Most bathrooms are functional, but not optimal.

Posted

2005-08-13T04:49:00.000-07:00

I just spent the past two hours looking through every trailer at Apple's website, and I shall now post my list of must-sees. The ones I am looking forward to the most are listed at the bottom.

Movies on the Seeing List as of August Thirteenth:

Prime
Asylum
An Unfinished Life
Proof
The Edukators
Oliver Twist
The Memory of a Killer
Separate Lies
The Warrior
A History of Violence
2046
The Island
A Scanner Darkly
The Aristocrats
Delgo
The Bridge of San Luis Rey
The Brothers Grimm
The Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)
V for Vendetta
Mirror Mask
Serenity

The Brothers Grimm looks to be an all around fun movie, if only because I love Matt Damon and Heath Ledger. Directed by Terry Gilliam, which can only mean good things.

The Night Watch (aka Nochnoi Dozor) is classified as a horror trilogy on Apple's main website, however from the trailer I've seen it's more fantasy than it is horror. It also seems to follow a completely radical formula to the horror films of today, being that it's in the business of making you afraid, not suddenly scaring you through cheap cinema parlor tricks. The movie Saw, although not a very good film, I thought to be a true horror film, for it terrified but didn't scare.

V for Vendetta is a movie about a hypothetical 1984esque government and a vigilante who is in the business to destroy it. Wachowski Brothers. Looks to have the flare of the original Matrix, in that it seeks to invent new cinema, not reuse the old.

Mirror Mask is probably the movie I'm most excited about. It's fantasy, and of the Dark Crystal/Labarynth/Wizard of Oz calibre. It's a Jim Henson Studios collaboration, which should be saying something. Not many of these movies are made, and even fewer actually succeed at being awesome. EDIT: I also forgot to mention that the story itself is written by Neil Gaiman of American Gods and Neverwhere fame. Shit, this movie has awesomeness written all over it.

Serenity is a Piece of Work. I never had much enthusiasm for Josh Whedon and his Buffy the Vampire Slayer series, but when I saw Firefly, it rocked my socks off. It seems so simple, even corny, that such a thing as a western in space would work, but it does, and I am in love with it. The movie looks as if it should Exceed Expectations.

All movie trailers available here.

Serious Business

2005-08-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

It's occured to me that people grow up at different rates. This is true. But for the vast majority most of them grow up at about the same time.

So, it makes me wonder. Bands like Korn and Slipknot and Evanescence and Papa Roach and Linkin' Park, well, they're all really popular with the younger kids, aren't they. Or they were when I was that age. Bands come and go, and I'm not so sure Pop Roach is in style anymore, but you get my general idea.

What I wonder sometimes though, is that the band members, the authors of these really angsty and angry and heartjerk songs, they're adults. Most of them are in their mid twenties to mid thirties.

So why haven't they grown up past all this angsty stuff yet? Why do they still act like they're freshmen and sophmores in high school? Is it because they haven't grow up yet, or do they just use it as a pool of inspiration?

Cats

2005-08-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

Why is it that people liken agility to that of cats?

Cats don't have particularly notable reflexes. Sure they can do the landing on their feet thing, but that's a preprogrammed reflex.

You wanna talk about quick reflexes, you look at a housefly.

Now THOSE things are fast.

The Duel of Perfection

2005-08-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Whoppers. Ye auld American candy, right? Wrong.

Each Whopper is scientifically rounded, is perfect in shape, appearance, and consistency. Each one is shiny, would roll down a flat surface as easily and error free as a ball bearing, and tastes roughly like cardboard.

The Dollar General across the road sells an off-brand of malt ball by the name of Mighty Malts, and the candy company who makes it, Necco, doesn't even have their webpage online.

Everything about them sings mediocrity and shoddiness. And you know what? That makes it so much more appealing to me.

Mighty Malts malt balls are misshapen, the chocolate coating is dull in appearance, and the insides taste like malt. Real malt. Neither sweet nor salty (which it is certainly both), these things are pleasing to me because they're flawed.

In every box is no less than eight or nine duds (out of the approximated 85), and these duds are surprisingly delicious. The malt inside of them went wrong somewhere along the line, yielding a chewy chocolate, slightly deflated orb of pure awesomeness.

Whoppers have none of these things. They have shiny waxed outsides, consistent and dense cardboard innards. They have no duds, they must x-ray each one to make sure of that.

I enjoy the duds in the off-brand more than I do the malts themselves. They should be commended for not being so... factory made.

Misizing

2005-08-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

My monitor seems to be plagued by a bastardous sizing problem that I never really seemed to fix, and the latest video drivers I installed (Omega Radeon 5.7) only seem to have served to intensify the problem.

You see, the screen size seems to be by default like the image I have knocked up below:

Now of course, my monitor, like everyone else's, comes with a host of advanced options to help compensate for this kind of problem.

However, none of them, whether it's pincushion, pin balance, trapezoid, parallel, corners, or rotation help with it. One skews the other, and generally any application in any combination of them all generally leads to a slightly screwed up screen.

Thriller

2005-08-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

I'm convinced that Michael Jackson is not a pedophile, nor does he enjoy corrupting kids.

I think that he genuinely wants to help children, however he's doing it all wrong. For that kind of thing you set up a committie or independant organisation and fund them with your own money. That way you cannot be suspected or blamed in any problems. MJ wants to do it directly, which is of course, when pedophiles are the new communists, a bad thing indeed.

Fire

2005-07-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

I knew that fire was a chemical reaction. I did NOT know, however, that fire can only exist in the presence of oxygen.

Lighters, for instance, use butane for the most part, which is a flammable gas. However, butane doesn't burn without there being oxygen to mix with. A Bic Lighter would not burn in space on it's own. They require an oxygen-rich enviroment to create flame.

Which of course brings us to the rocket boosters on the Space Shuttle or the russian Zenit Mk. II. They are propelled by liquid hydrogen and oxygen (in the Zenit's case it uses kerosine instead of hydrogen). I am told that they carry their own oxygen with them to help the burn process because higher up, the oxygen is too thin for them to be able to rely on the surrounding air as a carburetor for the propulsion process.

Oxygen is a lot more important than I'd previously thought.

America's Wang

2005-07-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

On your car you have the gas filling port. It's usually either to the left or the right of the car, and on some strange models it's in the rear, but that doesn't happen often.

Most gas pumping kiosks have pumps on both sides of it. The question now is, is the placement of the port on either the left or the right side of the car random, or do car manufacturers plan ahead to avoid only the right-hand side of the kiosks being used?

Do they make a model with it on the left one year, and one on the right the next? This would be simplest and easy enough to regulate the side on which it is put.

Or is it really random? Do the engineers even put any thought into this?

Porn

2005-07-18T04:09:00.000-07:00

A very personal quirk I have about watching porn is that the actors must never look at the camera.

Most scenes are designed and written so that the viewer really has no idea that either the camera or the cameraman are present for the shoot. This means that the viewer is watching the movie as if through some magical window that the subjects are unaware of. It's not voyeurism, it's more that the viewer is watching objectively, and doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that there are additional elements (cameraman, film, etc) in the equation.

For instance, if a girl is giving a guy a blowjob and it's being filmed, that's fine. It's just the guy and the girl, I can imagine what it'd be like to be that guy. However, if she FUCKING LOOKS AT ME, it then stops being her and the guy and becomes Me, Her, and The Guy. And then that's just fucking weird.

This very simple error, completely destroys any emersive qualities the film may have for me. It's the case with most amateur porn that the new girls have a habit of looking either at the cameraman or at the camera itself and this, as mentioned above, ruins the effect.

I'm sure it'd be simply amazing to learn all about the porn industry, it's professions, how people are paid, how much, and all the backstory behind it, but please, please god please, NOT WHILE I'M FREAKIN' JERKING IT. PLEASE.

Just thought I'd share that.

Near Miss

2005-07-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to think that people have so many close calls with mortal peril in their lifetimes.

In the span of a couple seconds someone can make a minor movement in their steering wheel that accidentally saves their life. Someone could decide to walk one way instead of another, and had they chosen wrong, they could have been ground up beneath the fuselage of a truck or other large vehicle. At construction sites someone might be standing two feet from certain death as they accidentally drop a half-ton reinforcement beam.

And the real shit of it is, people totally forget about it if they walk away from it unscathed. They may remember it as a surreal experience in the dim memory of the past, but it carries no importance with them. This happens every single day, and no one really notices it unless there's a really harmful accident. It may have something to do with the fact that a person will forget pain or fear they have had and held, but no one bothers to count how many times they brush by death's shoulder and forget he was even there a couple minutes later.

I find this to be evidence that probability, if not fate, certainly has some bearing on my life.

Japanese

2005-07-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

I just realised a fundamental difference between English and Japanese. It's why subtitles in animes seem so odd, they don't flow like english does.

It is, as Bobby Shaftoe once said, Chop-sockyish.

They use no adjectives. Normal english is usually filled with adjective upon adjective, lending meaning and importance and there are phrase-combos everywhere, especially in classical english.

Japanese, however, is almost designed to be as vague and nondescriptive as possible. That's why it's seemed so odd to me for so long.

That thin cotton cord

2005-06-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

What is one supposed to do when two people are blatantly having sex in front of him or her?

It's just something one is never prepared for in a social situation. What do you do? Sit there and admire their technique? Catch their eye and wink? Pretend you don't notice? I'm ill-prepared for something like that.

Maybe I'll just do what I want to. That being, stare intently, but don't be discourteous. Look at them in the eye if they look at you.

Grilled Cheese

2005-06-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

It's true what they say about teenagers being fueled by junkfood. After spending the past couple days with an authentic pair of them, I can safely conclude that none of them actually eat any decent food, nor do I think that they would were they given the choice.

I've been brought up in a state of malnutrition, I know. My foodgroups have been grease, meat, and starch, but by comparison that seems almost heavenly compared to the quantity of preprocessed foods that these two (Kati and Sid) consume. I don't eat my veggies, but these two don't even eat anything substancial. It's all sugar and sodas and whatnot.

I think John's pure-eating granola-ninjary has gotten to me. Although I still drink the soda occasionally and eat very little vegetable matter, I have a big dislike for preprocessed foods. I wonder how much of that is John and how much of it is me being sensical. I suppose I'll never know.

Dim being really dim

2005-06-23T02:46:00.000-07:00

I've realised how narrow my worldview is. I used to think I could see a lot of things through my window to the left of my computer. After walking around Hickory for about three and a half hours, I've come to know fondly that adventure and excitement can be found in many places, even those that you THINK you know really well.

When you walk around town, you notice many things that are too small to notice as you speed by in a car. John constantly complained about how there was nothing to see. I think he's a damn fool if he can't take a walk and be totally amazed by all the sights that are so common, and yet so alien to him.

I think someone vaguely Chinese once said, "There are plenty of things to see. You just have to look at them." I think that's absolutely correct in this case.

Sole's Souls

2005-06-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've discovered something fascinating. For the longest time now, I've had this habit. Whenever I feel like taking a walk, I figure I'll do it in bare feet.

The theory is that I can toughen up my soles and be able to walk further and further in bare feet, eventually progressing to the point where I'd rarely wear shoes anymore. Well, due to social circumstance, I find that although I wear no shoes around the house or the house of anybody else, my soles aren't tough enough. Wearing shoes even for a while every day weakens the skin, loosens it up and softens it. I've discovered that I will most likely never have those tough feet I've envisioned.

I've also discovered that walking with shoes on and walking with bare feet are two totally different activities. It's more psychologically wearying to go in bare feet, and I'll tell you why. When you have no shoes on, it means that you constantly must keep the detailed portion of your vision towards the pavement to avoid even any small stones that would totally ream your heel wide open.

When you wear shoes, you hardly have any such concern, and can walk unimpeded observing all of your surroundings.

So in conclusion, I've found that I can walk for a really long time and suffer little wearyness both physically and mentally if I have shoes on.

I could go the hardcore hardsoles route, but that requires a level of commitment and dedication that I certainly just don't have.

"I know Lord, I promised I'd never pick another pocket. But I also know, that you know, what a weak-willed person I am."

Speed of a Synaptic Responce

2005-06-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

Neal Stephenson remarked in his book Cryptonomicon that there is a specific breed of gnat that has high life-aspirations of flying directly into a human's right-hand eyeball. Just the right-hand eyeball, never the left.

After today's fiasco of having not one, but THREE gnats fly directly into my right-hand eyeball when mowing the lawn, I'm inclined to agree that they do indeed exist.

Walking

2005-06-21T01:47:00.000-07:00

When I went on my walk tonight, I had about a thousand ideas an hour. It was incredible, how many times I thought "Hey, I should put that in the blog." Of course, I don't remember any of those ideas, which is why I'm thinking about looking into a record-keeping method. Pen and notepad seems ideal and best, but paper is cumbersome with it's hard backing it requires, and it's hard to write when walking in the dark. I think the idea of carrying a recorder on me would be a silly idea, I don't think I'd dig listening to myself again.

So, my question is, what could I do to record spur-of-the-moment ideas but not actually be encumbered by it?

I'll look into the matter more, I think having a record-keeping function would be a really ingenious one. I don't have many of my best ideas when sitting in front of this terminal.

Flying, Beer Additional

2005-06-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

It's been noted many times in the past, especially with Tiffany and I, that one can feel goofy or stoned in exactly the same manner that one might feel when high, but not having been high at that moment. I also think that it is possible that this behavior is a replication of the social element of hanging out, not actually the drug itself. The drug reduces shyness and antisocial tendancies by much, but it is not actually the source of this silly behavior. No, the behavior itself is caused by the people involved with it.

By the same token, I believe that it is possible to be terrifyingly intellectual about certain things while stoned. Although much impared, I think that the brain is still in a heightened thought state. Things are discovered, reveled in due to being impared, but the brain is much more creative, resourceful, efficient. New pathways are forged in the brain as thoughts are juxtaposed in such ways as having never before seen together. Associations of gestures, actions, objects, and ideas are made that never had existed. One would, for instance, think about HOW footpowder works and think about what must logically happen when you put so much in your shoe in the morning but find none of it remaining at night. Things and thoughts that would never be normally part of a normal person's limited mental track. The mind expands and contorts, warping but still expanding it's boundaries and broadening new horizons.

Speaking of, I don't understand why people say "broadening horizons". Doesn't it make sense that if you want to broaden your horizons in a literal sense, live on a mountain and then go to the beach. Due to elevation difference, the horizon will have a slightly broader look to it. I wonder if that saying was some Indian saying they used to have.

No one ever refers to having an alcohol "high", do they? They say "high" when smoking MJ or doing other more exotic and illustrious goods. No, when getting drunk, one is buzzed or drunk. I believe that this is representative of the fact that alcohol is a depressant and reefer is a stimulant.

Roy G. Biv

2005-06-20T00:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight when I was at Sid's house I watched an episode of this new show people watch called Will & Grace. Apparently from what I saw in Sid and Kati, the show is just as popular as Friends was back in the day.

I feel that my disconnectiveness from watching TV anywhere near a regular basis keeps me aware of how it's changing. Last time I watched TV there was no Survivor or any of the thousands of reality-show spinoffs it spawned.

Now, I remember a day in which there was a gigantic media circus because Ellen DeGeneres told the world when she was in the middle of her sitcom that she was a lesbian. I remember that everyone was shocked and appauled. It thrust the movement for equal treatment of homosexuals into the open, as I see it. Everyone was talking about it, everyone knew about it. Everyone was debating about it.

And now, we have Will & Grace, which is a sitcom about something or other, I don't particularly care. However, in the episode I watched, there was a pair of gay men who I assume were coupled together and lived together. Yeah, a show on NBC depicting gay people living together. Oh lawd, what has it all come to? Suddenly it's alright to be gay?

I found this an appalling but not because I'm a homophobe. No, quite the opposite. I felt it was a misillustration and an awful stereotype of the gay community. I don't mean to sound like a PC whore here, I'm just trying to say that gay people went from being a hushed issue that should be swept under the rug to being a harmless eccentricity that shouldn't be paid any serious mind, at least in the big, round, glassy eye of the television. The kind of personalities these two men from this show were ones of being limp-wristed, air-headed, miscalculating fools that should be laughed at for being so... so... gay.

The discrimination is still there, it's just taken a different form now. They're still regarded as being different from everyone else. The fact that they're homosexuals has to be made an issue, and if not an issue, then it still must be pointed out.

I suppose being laughed at is a form of acceptance, which is better than being completely outcast.

The Trip

2005-06-17T20:31:00.000-07:00

I could see this coming from a million miles up. The bigwigs were seeing fit that I take a vacation. Ooh, I hate them. By forcing me on these six-month vacations, they're actually hiring someone in my place for the time I'm away. I see exactly what they're doing, but I'll never have any proof to the contrary.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Name: William Christian "Kristoff" Lambert
Sex: Male
Age: Nineteen Solar Rotations
Destination: LEO (Low Earth Orbit)
Prepaid Account: Indeed
Possessions: One(1) Glass Watered Down, Slightly Flat, Cool(42DegreesF) Pepsi, One(1) Partially Consumed Pink Freezer-Lollipop, One Bottle (4 fl oz) Kensington Brand Monitor Cleaning Solution, Several Assorted Packages Of Snacks Cleverly Concealed In One(1) Drawer On The Upper Left Hand-Side Of The Brown Desk Directly To His Rear.
FCC Ident: 0913-1915-19-20-1514-05-04
Emancipation Notice: Approved, Tom M. Riddle
Hat: Chesterfield
Impairments (limbs, vision, aftertaste, respiratory failure, etc.: None

Departure Date: 12/75/3030
Travel Time: 187.464 Hours

Flagholder Encryp. Block:
11001111
10111101
11001111

Certification: GENUINE

High Fructose

2005-06-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

Granted, I don't eat normal Kellog's Cornflakes. We're cheap bastards and we shop at Aldi, so we buy the Aldi Brand Knockoff Cornflakes. Here's the clever bit. When these cornflakes are fresh, as in, I just opened up the sealed bag, they instantainiously go soggy in milk.

I hadn't even put a sprinkle of sugar on top and already they were soft underneath.

However, it's curious to note that when some bastard leaves the bag open and just the flaps closed, they go stale, kind of chewy and/or crunchy. However, when this happens and you put milk on top of stale cornflakes, they stay in their crispy/chewy state for much much longer than they would if they were fresh.

Yeah, I was full of odd questions too. Not that I have the answers.

Pocket Protectors

2005-06-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

I feel that with my generation at least, the word nerd or geek or dork no longer holds the stereotype of being really introverted, brainy, lofty, and being unfashionably dressed. The geeks that I know personally (John, Tiffany, Mike, Kennith, Sid, etc.) bear no resemblance to anything like a geek that you'd see in popular movies.

They're generally very sociable, likable, and know lots compared to your average joe. That's really the only difference, how brainy they are about their areas of expertise. Gone is the age of the nerdy guys with bridged noses and glasses with the cheapest frames possible, as in those gigantic ugly thick black ones that seem to be popular with the Ska-chilluns now a days. Gone are the front pockets with plastic protectors, gone are the dress shirts. They wear t-shirts and jeans like everyone else, they like TV shows and hiking.

The differences are more subtle. An aversion to sporting activities, other than things like paintball and airsoft, which I find to be totally geeky. A dislike for name brands and fashionable clothes. A lust for being odd and asymmetrical with society. All that.

Geeks as one might think don't exist any longer. Or, that's just my opinion.

Giving up the ghost

2005-06-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

Fuck it. I give up. Last night, I made a tiny white flag out of sugar and put it outside on a piece of tin foil for the ants.

I've given up my battle with them. And really, I don't mind them. They can crawl on my legs, but they're so insignificant that I don't think I'll bother them unless they make me itch.

Occasionally their scouts crawl across my wristrest bit of the table, and I shoo them off so they don't get squished. Shit guys, they gotta live too. They don't bother me, and unlike SOME pests like roaches and mosquitoes and rats, they don't leave residues or make a mess of anything, they just cluster on pieces of food they might want and make supplytrains for that piece of food that are hundreds and hundreds of feet long. For an ant that's hardly two millimeters in length, they can walk an awfully long way. From the back yard, up the inside of my carport, around the shed, over the fence, and under the shingling somewhere near the washroom of our house.

I suppose that as far as infestations go, I should count them as a blessing. I mean, it's not as if they carry any malcontent for me personally, they aren't carniverous, unlike mosquitoes. If I step on them, I don't notice, unlike roaches. They don't shit everywhere or carry disease, unlike rats.

So yeah, lucky to have them and nothing else.

Flicker

2005-06-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

There's a special type of movie that, when you're done with it, leaves you with a special feeling. One of disconnectedness. The cause seems to be having spent so much time outside of your head. Your thoughts are nothing to do with anything concerned with your physical nature. You're concentrated not just on a monitor in front of yourself, but on a whole bunch of new ideas that this type of entertainment brings to you.

Books have the same effect, but theirs is more of a slower gearshift. It takes a couple days to read a book (unless you're a FREAK) and you usually submerse yourself in it in pieces of time, not all at once as is the case with a movie.

One of these such movies is a movie that both John and Mike recommended, an independant film called Primer. It doesn't bode well to research what the film is about outside of the IMDB Outline, so I won't.

What I really posted to say was that there's a specific type of movie that leaves your head buzzing with intellectual activity afterwards. Almost a high of sorts, around which ideas run through your head at a thousand miles an hour, no time at all to write them down, only to pray that your memory will not fail you if you want to go back to them later.

Spectacles

2005-06-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

In my wanderings today i reached a startling conclusion on the nature of glasses. It does not happen much now a days, but have you ever seen someone who has problems with how their glasses sit on their faces? Always sliding forward down the bridge of their nose?

Yeah, i know what causes it. The back of the arms on the glasses, the bit where they bend. If that doesn't properly cup the back of the ear, the glasses will have nothing to keep them from sliding forward.

I also went on to discover that girls who wear glasses are dangerously sexy, especially those who have horrible eyesight with them off. The ones that go blind as a bat with them off. That right there, that's too cute.

Those revelations weren't the big ones, though. They were minor thoughts compared to what came next. You know how, when those glasses finally DO slide forwards? What happens then? The logical conclusion of this would be that the person wearing them will reach up with one of their limbs, and proceed to push them back onto their proper resting points. That gesture, that sequence of movements that they perform, they drive me crazy. Trust me guys, this is not a detrimental issue with ill-fitting glasses. Trust me.

Not my art, don't know the source.

Oh Shit, The "L" Word, Dude?

2005-06-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Do things feel more comfortable now? Why is it that i'm admiring beautiful sights, like pollen strings falling from the tree in the wind and not shrugging them off, continuing on like i usually do?

I'm... feeling romantic. I wonder if this is because i've been changing a lot recently, or because i'm in love?

Why do i weigh so much importance on that? Being romantic? It feels strange, Dave. I can feel it, my mind is going.

Separation

2005-06-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

It's occured to me (while John was recanting his trip to the beach last night) that human beings as i know them live very separated lives from most animals in the world. We were bourne through the trees, staring at the birds flying about, at home with the comings and goings of everything else around us, every part with it's own agenda.

In current times, everything is very segregated. We surround ourselves with dead wood and plaster, stare at clockwork creations hewn from metal and sand. Even the air we breathe is regulated, conditioned, purified. Opening a window is a sigil of being poor.

I don't consider myself a hippie or pagan (scoff), but i think that we as a culture have become far too separated from the natural world. Sand bothers us. Having dirty hands and feet are disconcerting. Hiking is considered a dirtying activity.

I never said i was above these things. I have an irrational problem with having dusty, gritty, or dirty hands. I'm just saying that i've noticed these things. A separation of the living and the living.

If You Hate Me, Skip This Post

2005-06-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Now if you will, Ladies and Gentlemen, a brief photonic showcase. Please excuse the camwhorish nature of the enclosed. Scaled for your futher enjoyment. Share and enjoy.

The Hair After Sleeping. I believe this is the effect that John was aiming for when he and Tiffany both cut my hair.

Washed. Apologies for the blur, but i just don't care enough.

Brushed.

There. It had to be done. I'm convinced that really good looking pictures of yourself never actually exist when you yourself are viewing them. Guess i just have to sigh, or grunt, and move on.

Posting

2005-06-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

I seem to have this energy or will to be writing things online. Usually this takes the form of trolling a forum for either Tweed, my NS clan, but ever since The Great Asshole Exploitation Wars of '04, I've felt no reason to be posting on my clan's forums.

I suppose my urge to be writing things is being expunged through the blog and the journal. I mean, i keep posting, do i not? That's the only reason i can think of for why this hasn't died miserably like all my previous projects like it.

Friends

2005-06-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

Personally, i find it very difficult to write something in the journal or the blog and write from a completely unbiased point of view.

What i mean is, it's hard to write something without angling it because you know that a certain person will be reading it. You sit there and think about the people who will read it, and censor or add things specifically for them. I suppose that's the thing i hate the most about LiveJournal and LJ users, is that they write simply so that people will comment on what they have written.

I've got an edge here. Noone reads either my journal OR my blog as far as i know. Kati and Mike commented once, but Kati's in Chicago and Mike i'm sure isn't an avid reader.

I suppose the best way to deal with this is to just write for myself and myself only. Unrestricted, nothing to do with anyone who might be reading it.

Needles

2005-06-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Recently i've been having some trouble with mosquitoes. My window stays open for most of the time, and even though there's a screen in place, there is still a gap to the outside. So, needless to say, although not as many bugs get in, some still do. The craftiest of them all appear to be the mosquito, which as you know, sucks blood and leaves you with the itchie.

So, i see mosquitoes flying around a lot during my stay in my computer chair. Recently my method of disposal is trying to clap my hands over them violently so that if they get hit, they get hit hard and hopefully die.

The problem is that when i clap my hands over them and then open them again, the mosquitoes cease existing. They just teleport, nowhere to be found.

Just now, Just Now, i have discovered the answer.

When i clap my hands together, the reason they seem to teleport away is because they fall straight down. It never occured to me to look down. It appears to be that when i do clap my hands, the air rushing out between my hands typically pushes the mosquito away from where my palms meet, so normally i don't kill them physically.

It's not the physical squishing that kills them, it's the concussion waves. Think about it, mosquitoes, although bothersome, are frail creatures. They have thin legs, small wings, everything about their bodies are lanky and thin. So what happens? When two plates of flesh come slamming together at fifty miles an hour, anything that small and that frail is going to feel some effect. Any mosquito near my hands is typically killed outright.

The only reason why i discovered this was that, just now, i killed two mosquitoes sequentially as they were hovering above my bed. Both of them, after the clapping, fell onto my brilliantly white sheets and were easily discovered. The shock of such a brutal event had killed them outright. One was dead, the other twitched once and gave up the ghost.

Now, i know how to kill the bastards.

The Tower

2005-06-06T00:39:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been through a metamorphosis of a sort. There was a time when I just smoked weed when I hung out with my friends, I never handled it myself. But recently, when I've begun having my own portable stash of reefer (danke much, Phip), I was all about having disposable smoking apparatuses. I was all about building your own pipes, I even tried my hand at making a terribly crappy bong from bits and pieces I found around the house and the shed.

However, Phip told me a story once upon a time about how he was too once like me. All about the ghetto engineering and the potsmoker's resourcefulness. Smoking out of Pepsi cans and the like. He then told me about how it's nice to have your own smoking pipe, one that you bought in a head shop that was made by professionals. At the time, I considered it to be a load of fooey, but now I am beginning to understand. Having your own pipe, he said, it's like having an object that you can focus on.

I believe I understand what he means now. Having your own pipe or smoking utensil, it's more than just having one and saying "yeah, that's mine, I spent my money on it." It's a professionally rendered artwork, and in addition to it's useful qualities, it's also a symbol of your affection, your devotion, your care. It's an altar to which you will be sacrificing time.

So, naturally, it runs that it wouldn't be too much fun smoking out of a Pepsi can, simply because you will be putting your effort, care, and time into this object... and then you'll throw it away. And no one wants that, do they?

Cartilage

2005-06-05T23:16:00.000-07:00

Whoever invents those blue freezer-gel inserts that you can put into your headphones behind the cushion-part shall be deified forever. I'll buy a pair.

If i could just pick up my headphones and put them in the freezer for a few minutes, i'd do it that way. Even when the cable for them is nineteen feet long, it's still not long enough to put in the freezer. Maybe with a minifridge i could. It reminds me of Dave Lister from Red Dwarf, who would put his pillow in the freezer all day so it would be cold when he went to bed.

Hounds

2005-06-05T17:11:00.000-07:00

They say that smell is the sense that is most primitively linked to memory. I believe it. Certain smells for me trigger the rememberance of situations, actions, and memories i haven't been thinking about for a long time. The smell of rubber tires in an auto store trigger memories of staring longingly at gigantic fifty dollar Transformers in a basement toyshop somewhere in Hickory. I don't remember where it was, just that it was in the basement of a store for something entirely unrelated to toys.

I was in the bathroom just now after a roastbeef and popover dinner, and the smell of the towels after having been used and dried on the shower door reminded me overwhelmingly of Kati, and the tickle of her hair on my nose as we sat together, watching Sid play Kingdom Hearts.

But maybe that's just because i've had them on the brain a lot recently. Agh. Five more days.

Little Big

2005-06-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

I've decided that if, for whatever reason, i'm invited to come and stay on an indian reservation, i will not refuse. On some of them, sure they drive minivans and have the internet, but i imagine it's still a basic lifestyle.

Not to mention it would be amazing to see such a radical shift in cultures.

They should have exchange students from reservations and other sections of the country. I mean, this is the U.S. It's a melting pot. Not everything is the same in all parts of the country. I don't think having a different language should be the qualifying component of what makes a student exchange. Sure, it makes things very very different.

If ever i had a nation of people that i goverend in much the same way as it is here, i would nationalize the airlines and make it a confirmation ritual of sorts that when highschool ends, and you're not planning on any colleges, you make an exchange with another adolescent somewhere, elsewhere in the country.

Sweet and Sour

2005-06-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

All i want to say is, it's only been a day, and already it's felt like eternity. This one's for you babe, for both of you, where ever you are.

Oh God Oh God

2005-06-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

After watching the river of ants storming into my house get bigger and bigger, i walked outside with the talcum powder and put rings around the carport pillars, along the wall of the shed, and along the fence which meets my house.

Your move, ants.

Surfin

2005-06-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and the day before (more on that later), i made a particular discovery. I'm more capable of surfing the internet when i'm on someone else's computer. It's just the change of the enviroment, the software, the resolution, the favorites that is jarring.

Makes you think of places and websites you wouldn't normally think of at home.

When i was at Kati's yesterday and surfing on her computer, it was easy to recall comics, news pages, game mods, and information pages. I remembered because i had to, because i didn't have bookmarks or anything else to rely on. It was refreshing for my memory to be working on such a higher plane.

I think that things like favorites, quicklaunches, and bookmarks are more of a crux than they are an aid...

Mr. Jackson

2005-06-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night i had a really strange dream. Out back behind the Winn-Dixie i live near, instead of it sloping away into a forested area full of rich houses and terminating at the lake, it was a rolling hill full of feral wheat and ramshackle houses. At the half-hinged gate to one of these (nearer to a river that ran through these golden fields), there was a rusty lawn mower. I grabbed the handles and manuvered it into the yard of the flimsy house it was closest to, started it up, and cut a loop around the front yard, stopping at the gate where i began.

And then something odd happened. The front door had swung open, and a really really tall guy emerged in a pair of overalls, a dress shirt, and a frayed straw hat. He said in a reedy tone that i couldn't quite hear, "Migh a ell inish er off" From there he walked from his leaning post to the lawnmower which was still running. He made a gesture to release the choke bar, and i did. "Might as well finish her off, since you've made a start."

I looked him up and down. Although he appeared to be middle aged from a distance, up close he was actually quite old, very very old. He looked down, and was surprised to find the lawnmower had lopped off the top of his leather loafer, revealing the unharmed and quite naked toes of his very large feet in his inattention.

"Well, i got my ma and pa in there too, and we've reached a decision. The farm is now yours, young stranger. Same thing happened for my father when he was young too. Just wandered in, and lived with these people who were at the end of their lives. And now we are, and now you're the one", he said. Implications of this were rapidly inflating in my head. This was a farm. A decent house, and a self-sufficient lifestyle. It was amazing to think that he must have been at least seventy years old, and appeared to still be quite spry. And the mention of his parents still alive too! This was special. Something about the land. Yes, that's what it was.

Unfortunately this dream doesn't have an end. Sorry for the disappointment. I could make one up, but it wouldn't be nearly as creative.

Krwlng

2005-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when i'm listening to a piece of music i used to have years and years ago i often become nostalgic for the feelings i once had. Despite however much me and my friends think Linkin Park is a joke, it's a band that was heavily involved with my mood of the time. Cold nights, wearing shorts, hanging out with friends in a parking lot behind the coffee shop that we adored, being the last or next to last person to leave that night, talking to myself as the cold and the stillness of the air bit away at my skin...

I find it interesting that although it wasn't enjoyable then, it's enjoyable now to think about it. It's almost unfathomable to think that i've changed so much since then. I'm a totally other person, yet it still feels like me.

I wonder.

Particulates

2005-06-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

It is my idea that 99% of people who think they smell pot on you when you come inside are people that are smelling it from your breath. If you be cautious, don't haze it up anywhere, and immediately expel your hit breath in a direction away from everyone else, then you won't really smell like smoke.

So in essence, your breath is what kills you. Think about it. You'll be talking and expelling a certain smell in their direction. Right to their FACE.

Anyhow, tips from chris, Volume #1.

Vibes

2005-06-01T11:15:00.000-07:00

I've begun a campaign of showering every day when I wake up. Assuredly this is irrelevant and unnecessary, but at least it makes me feel clean enough for physical contact with other people. I'll do it every morning for a week and see how things work out. I didn't wash the new hair though, seeing as a Lady asked me not to on the day of the dye. Yes, the girl. Yes, that one.

In other news, I was up for the majority of the night last night explaining Bittorrent to Sid. He called me up at some point and we actually spent a lot of time playing Diablo II. Of course, being the boob he is, he plays in the Western Realm, whereas I in the East. So he got an account on East and we played around a bit in the Blood Moor, Act I.

Anyway, what I was meaning to say was that as I was explaining BT to him last night, I gained a larger and more appreciative viewpoint of how powerful this application really is. It's as if I've been peering at it in close detail for quite some while now, but never actually bothered to step back and appreciate its enormity.

The same thing happened for me a couple days ago when we were traveling to the con on I-40. The interstate system we have here in america, although a direct ripoff of the German Autobahn, shares many features that the internet does. Except it's transfering cargo and people, not information in binary form.

been playing too much world of warcraft

Typhoid Zaphod

2005-05-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how in everyone's town square they have several very important and attention-drawing monuments that absolutely no one at all pays any attention to whatsoever?

Follicles

2005-05-31T18:08:00.000-07:00

We spent some time walking about the graveyard today talking about different ideas we could have for our personal graves. Some ideas were (but are not limited to):

Having a scrolling LED embedded in the face of your gravestone linked to a webpage so people can type in things to scroll across the title of your grave
Having a brick moratorium, except the face of it is a movable door of stone. Past the stone door is a staircase which goes down into a room with a Chinese Water Clock in it, as in, a circular dais you can walk on with a repeating circular groove in it. Water enters at one end and when it reaches the center it indicates that a day has passed. The body being buried is interred beneath the clock.
Having concrete poured around your body and then using that as the stone itself.
Planting fruit-bearing bushes around your gravestone, giving it a real Return to the Earth feeling
John wants a grease-trap for his grave. As in, those things you throw waste-grease into behind restaurants and the like. He wants the greasetrap, grille, and even the little chunks of grease carved out of stone.
Having a Magic Eye engraved in the marble so you have to concentrate if you want to know who's buried there.

I also made mention of how the monks in Tibet sometimes lay the bodies out to be eaten by the carrion birds so they become distributed over the land, but no one was listening.

In other news, WHOOOOOAAA:

My thanks to the girl. Yes, that one.

Shingles

2005-05-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about my cleaning habits and how I don't like to take showers every single day like most people and I had a great deal about it typed out. In the end I decided it was retarded sounding and so thusly I shall talk about the subject of hats.

Anything you can put on your head and have it stay there for a reasonable amount of time can be classified as a hat. Right now I have a towel wrapped about my hair on my head, and it's been quite happy with its state of being for some time now. And it hasn't fallen off, meaning I can classify it as a hat.

I only own one hat, probably because if my head wasn't enormous as it is now, my hair adds extra volume to it. So it's logical to assume that hats for normal people won't fit me. If I could find hats that did fit me, I would probably wear them.

As to the one hat I own that fits me, it was a custom job done by my friend Tiffany. Here's a picture of it. Sorry Tiffany, I'm going to borrow your face for a couple seconds.

Isn't she cute? She looks like a deer in that photo. Now I think I'll go dry my hair.

Posting and Me

2005-05-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

I'm loathed to actually go and release this blog to anyone I know personally. It's just that whenever I go back and look at my posts, I think to myself, "Hey, that's mighty stupid sounding. You're trying to be gimmicky and cute. Maybe you should edit that or something, it's embarrassing."

Of course I know I won't edit anything, but it doesn't kill the embarrassment I feel when I reread what I've wrote. I guess the simple solution is to just be proud of the things I write and hope someone'll like it.

And now with that little disclaimer, I shall release this to my friends. I hope there's enough material here.

Additional: I realize now that I can't afford to have a hindsight that keeps saying "What If..."

If I keep counterguessing everything I do I'll never get anywhere.

Fuzzies

2005-05-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

When I wake up in the morning and resolve myself to staring at the white ceiling and maybe masturbating, I'm plagued by a cloud of those fuzzy things in your vision that you sometimes get when staring at a bright object that is solid in color.

I've heard stories that they were part of a vein in the interior of your eye which broke apart and stayed in the fluid of your eyeball after the vein was no longer needed when you were being built in the womb.

It still doesn't stop me from wondering. Your vision naturally comes in upside-down on the retina, so your brain sorts the image out when it travels down the optic nerve and into the brain. So, does this mean that those vein parts float or sink in that eye-jelly? If you try to stare at them, the minute movements of your eye in the socket make them shake about, so it's really difficult to properly examine them. What are they? Why are they transparent?

Of course, The Straight Dope explains everything away for you, but I don't trust it.

It also says that being able to see them easily is a sign of being nearsighted. I haven't had my eyes examined for about six years now. Maybe I should get to doing that.

There're færies in my eyes, maan.

4-23-04.reg

2005-05-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to note how easily people take things for granted once they become commonplace. For instance, I've always taken the three letter file suffix system in Windows to be something that, well, computers won't function without. I can remake files just by changing their suffix and turn them into incomprehensible garbage.

Some operating systems, however, don't have periods after their name followed by a filetype ID.

I think it's worthy of investigation, but not right now. Right now I sleep.

Cactus

2005-05-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

Earlier last week I replanted the moon cactus. It wasn't happy in my room in it's disposable plastic pot. The soil in that pot with it weighed less than the plant itself did. I replanted it in the bottom of a coke bottle with some soil from the front yard. It's not the ideal soil for a cactus, but I'll let it dry somewhat and hope for the best.

Also, I don't know why I'm telling you about my cactus. This is supposed to be interesting reading material, and the post doesn't meet my standards. I just wanted to express my interest in my failure at horticulture.

Lightbulbs and Entrees

2005-05-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

Kati told me that my blog was receiving a 404 message when trying to connect, but it seems to be alright now. It kind of scared me off from writing for a while. Hopefully I'll resume as mornal.

I find it interesting that, as I've been growing older, my tastes are changing. It takes great difficulty to be able to look at yourself and say "Hey, I'm different from what I was." You notice it in other people, especially when you haven't seen them for a long time. But with yourself you think you're always the same. I was there, I'd notice if it changed. I haven't.

I remember that I used to get along with my brother. We used to play for hours on the trampoline, inventing fictitious universes and games. I had a passion for "explaining things", meaning I could go on and on for hours talking about the things I had invented.

Now I don't play games, I don't jump on the trampoline, I don't invent fictitious games and universes anywhere except in my head when I'm bored.

That's just one instance or example of what I'm talking about though. It's a general feeling of missing things from a previous life I had. A life where I had school every day and it seemed as if school would never be over, I would always have some oppressor.

It truly is the end of an era, as my friend John said when we left Animazement today. I'm no longer a school boy, everything plotted out for me. I have the choice and potential to start doing anything I want. The obstacle, of course, is that I have no earthly idea what I want to be doing.
With life.

What I wanted to touch on, though, was that I don't particularly miss those things. I've grown and although I have lost some things, they never leave a hole in me, or at least not usually. Something always replaces them. Right now, I've got a hole, and it hasn't been filled yet.

I don't know if I'll enjoy being an adult, but since I don't have any choice in the matter, I suppose I'd better get used to it.

Love

2005-05-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

Why do humans prefer to sleep lying down? The answer is simple: the blood system is all level throughout the body with the heart. That way the heart can do a minimal amount of work to move the blood around and conserve energy greatly. Basal metabolism and all that.

What John's brother said was true, as it is for diaries or for blogs, especially for people like me. If you don't develop a habit of doing it every day then you'll quickly stop doing it. So I've decided that I'll try to come up with something at least a little entertaining every day.

Red Green

2005-05-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to note that the rednecks/hillbillies in this portion of the world are associated with being inflammatory, racist, and undereducated. Whereas in other parts of the world they're regarded as an eccentric, yet harmless, anomaly of society. The Canadian rednecks are the types you'd associate with beaver lodges and hatflaps and plaid flannel tshirts. England's closest approcimation to a redneck would probably be the Diddycoys, or, as some of you more educated people may know them, Pikeys. I think my living here may have put me off of the idea of the hillbilly, since basically, the ones around here are bastards.

Southern girls can be charming in their own right, but it doesn't give them an excuse to be stupid. I think it's possible to be cultured in the south and yet still know a great deal of things. It's a pity they've got such a bad name.

Have you ever tried putting a banana in the freezer before? When it comes out it has a texture that is very much like that of stiff ice cream.

Movietime

2005-05-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Now normally i'd promise myself never to resort to talking about my every-day happenings as if this were a webjournal. Not to mention i want to keep this place from becoming a sappy nexus through which i prattle endlessly about my little world.

However, last night i saw a movie called Spun. Now, from that link you might think that the movie is a laugh, a drug-filled adventure of the likes of Trainspotting or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Not so.

It's soul degrading and depressing, in the like of Requiem for a Dream. It brings you so uncomfortably close to what some of the most bleak elements of humanity are, and holds you there, without breathing or thinking, for 140 minutes. Some people die, others are thrown in the clink, and some of them have nothing to look forward to other than a lifetime of fuckupedness.

Should you not wish to partake of some personal story and sappy bullshit, skip over the colored bit. If not, continue on reading.

Were it not for my friend's imminent rescue from my pit seeing just the bad bits of our civilization and the subsequent smoking of illegal substances, i might even be feeling like crap right now.

However, since then i've become really chipper about things in general. Maybe it was my friend last night, maybe it was the fact that i recieved my very first note from another person during lockerbreak.

Now, one thing you have to understand is that i've led a very anti-social and anti-culture lifestyle. I've seen thousands of notes passed between more reputable and popular children than myself, but i've never actually recieved one. Or if i have, it wasn't important. What IS important is that someone's thought highly of me enough so that they'd actually think of me while in another class and write down some friendly words on my behalf.

Of course since she's the only one who has the link to this blog right now, i won't express any personal opinions i have about her other than i think very highly of her for having made me feel better about everything. I think the guy she hangs out with all the time is cute, too.

Thank you for your time if you read it. If not, i cannot be held responsible for any time-wasting you may have done whilst reading this.

Anyhow, quick update about the ants. They seem to have taken a liking to crawling about on my tiny Moon Cactus:

Mine's orange and yellow, but you get the idea. I don't think they're eating it, maybe they're just stopping off on it, as if it were a rest-stop to refresh their minds after walking through so much synthetic man-made construction material that is my house. However, the ants keep crawling about the place. I keep my desk as sugar-free as possible so as to not provoke their resource-frenzied wrath, so thusly they seem to keep crawling about as if they just know there has to be something they can salvage around here. They never seem to find anything and so i never see any great density of them about. Just a few isolated scouts hunting.

I have no doubt they're recouperating after i recently chemical-bombed their nest (that being under the railroad ties i have bordering my lawn in front of my window), and want to return in full force. Well next time it's not going to be flea-spray and Hot Shot. No, next time i'll poison the very ground they inhabit. There won't be an ant left.

As it is they're welcome company just as long as they don't bother me.

Manifesto

2005-05-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

I've decided that this place isn't a journal. It's a blog. Although there may be no distinction to anyone except myself, i think blogs should be for publishing ideas, not the common every-day journals of the dreadful dead. This means no daily updates, no pandering around and complaining about how i can't think of anything to talk about, it's going to be interesting ideas, theories, perversions, fantasies. A map of my head with an invitation written all over it.

So, for this post i'd like to talk about the Japanese. This is a tough one simply because the concept embodies a society so totally unlike the one we Westerners live in. Maybe this is too tough a beast to tackle for me. But i'll try. First, let me start with an image.

Yes, that is Ronald McDonald. Yes, that's the Reverent and Inscrutiable Colnel from KFC. If you know anything about anime and the conventions they have for it here in America, you'd know about Cosplaying. As in, Costume Playing. People who dress up as their favorite anime characters. Yeah, well, in Japan, they cosplay Ronald McDonald and other fast food icons. I shit you not.

I hope this illustrates the fact that everyone is batshit crazy in Japan. I used to think that these people with scat fetishes and tentacle porn and the tiny electronic devices and the toilets that measure the weight of your poop and sends it electronically to your doctor for health analysis just represented a small and crazy subsection of the people who live on this island chain. Oh no, i'm sure it's everyone. They're all crazy. The concept of a Kancho Assassin (trying to poke your fingers up someone's butt for the sheer hell of it) proves this.

For more information and a laugh, check out Azrael's Editorial, I am a Japanese Schoolteacher.

I apologise for not going further into depth about it, but i've just started on the subject. I'll return to it later.

Not to mention Azrael does a better job of it than i ever could.

The First Post, a film by Quentin Tarantino.

2005-05-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Against all my stern and tightlipped refusals to go and create something like this again, I have gone and done just that. Again.

It seems only a couple years ago when I was right in the diary boat with everyone else, posting inane crap for the weak and weary and just so that I could structure my posts simply because I knew it was only my friends viewing them. It seems like everything I write has an expiration date of only a few minutes. Once that date has been exceeded, they no longer carry my pride and they sound stupid to me.

Alright, so let me make it clear that, yes, i do smoke reefer. Have for at least a year and a half now, and i don't really see any reason why i should stop. Imagine what it would be like to have everything that stimulates the senses to be fascinating, imagine that every thought and wandering in your head to be utterly profound. Imagine being like a baby that's just opened it's eyes and is crawling around on the floor. If any of you have read the Hitchhiker's Guide books all the way through, there's a moment in which Ford Prefect is sneaking back into the Guide's main publishing offices (in order to avoid the machine-gun armed robots whose job is to interrogate incoming writers about their expense accounts) and reprograms one of the security droids to be happy and spread it's jubilation around the security network in order to mask his presence. It's THAT kind of elation we're talking about here. You could lie down and become very aquainted with the dirt near your face. You'd be happy doing pretty much anything.

Of course, symptoms and effects vary from user to user and from variety to variety (of weed, that is.) Those are just my personal opinions and what it means to me.

Also, another thing i've noticed is that typically, being around people that are stoned when you yourself are not isn't very fun. Likewise, talking about being so stoned with anyone other than the people you were getting stoned with isn't fun either. It makes you look like an idiot. So, i try to avoid saying anything at all about it. That's probably why people are so profoundly blown away at school when they learn that i smoke. It's not because i don't enjoy it, i honestly do, but it's because i don't want to sound like a loser.

And as to my title i've given this blog, i should make a note that my room is under a full-scale invasion by an army of tiny black ants. Too little to be bothered with, so many it makes me want to kill them. It's a no-win scenario. Nothing short of complete and total chemical warfare against them will remedy this situation. And even then i've tried that. Maybe i'm not total enough to have killed them all.